A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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