Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize