she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
