i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
