im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
