how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
