I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
This house was built for laser tag.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Randomize
