i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
