I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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