I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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