singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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