There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I will pee on everything he values.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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