foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
This house was built for laser tag.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
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