dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
