your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
