dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
