Texts From Last Night

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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.

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  (609): He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL. http://tfl.nu/l6ak
  Replies (1) Good night (896) Bad night (1035)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha

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  (410): Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha http://tfl.nu/68fw
  Replies (1) Good night (1088) Bad night (552)
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  (818): View more from California

  my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.

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  (818): my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again. http://tfl.nu/vc1t
  Replies (24) Good night (3665) Bad night (548)
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  (021): View more from

  Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.

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  (021): Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant. http://tfl.nu/uluq
  Replies (49) Good night (525) Bad night (6649)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.

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  (970): The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito. http://tfl.nu/8dlm
  Replies (23) Good night (571) Bad night (3250)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.

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  (973): we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle. http://tfl.nu/il9h
  Replies (33) Good night (8040) Bad night (1368)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.

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  (603): I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months. http://tfl.nu/isje
  Replies (9) Good night (3682) Bad night (1351)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...

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  (715): i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend... http://tfl.nu/erib
  Replies (3) Good night (3368) Bad night (737)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.

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  (313): Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot. http://tfl.nu/hre1
  Replies (14) Good night (3611) Bad night (950)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.

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  (201): she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said. http://tfl.nu/ngdj
  Replies (9) Good night (606) Bad night (2896)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night

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  (937): They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night http://tfl.nu/quiu
  Replies (6) Good night (1894) Bad night (382)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it

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  (201): I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it http://tfl.nu/orze
  Replies (7) Good night (1136) Bad night (838)
• Favorite

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.

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  (270): You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs. http://tfl.nu/j0k2
  Replies (16) Good night (1637) Bad night (361)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  if not i want to bang those glasses off his face

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  (828): does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you? (828): if not i want to bang those glasses off his face http://tfl.nu/l0mr
  Replies (4) Good night (1306) Bad night (301)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up

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  (916): Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up http://tfl.nu/2pg5
  Replies (3) Good night (496) Bad night (261)

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