I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Locals Wish Tourists Would Stop Doing These 27 Things
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
25 True Facts That Sound Fake AF
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it