Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(212): View more from New York

btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up

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(330): View more from Ohio

Little spoons don't ask big questions

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(862): View more from New Jersey

She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.

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(850): View more from Florida

She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(619): View more from California

You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.

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(812): View more from Indiana

Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.

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(914): View more from New York

The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off

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(732): View more from New Jersey

I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak

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