Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
