Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
