She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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