It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
