dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
It's never too late to be topless.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
The air was thick with penises
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
