I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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