Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
