Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
