I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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