We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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