We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
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"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
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He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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