I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
