I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
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I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
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Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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