Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
