I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
