This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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