you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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