He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize