Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
