how can u be prego again
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
