i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
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