But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
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I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
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You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
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