He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
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