So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
