I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize