you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
