Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
