Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
True strength comes from lack of pants
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
