I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I could fuck to npr.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
