K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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