i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
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I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
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I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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