it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
