Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
