He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
