i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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