it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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