My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
