It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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