And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
