since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
