She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
