I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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