you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
