We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
