you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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