I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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