so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
