i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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