I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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