i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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